“We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”Motivational Speaker, David P Brown
This saying has always stood out to me since I began my college experience and it will forever stick with my beliefs regarding community. Throughout my freshman year of college, I thought to myself “Who are the people that I am going to build with for the rest of my college experience? I wonder whom I will encounter that will lead me to so many opportunities.” I pondered over these thoughts for a while with the intention to build strong and trusting relationships.
Since I’ve been in college, I’ve been blessed with many fruitful relationships that have guided me to where I am mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. For many young Christians, it is vital that we continuously check our inner circles and the influence they make where we are at today and tomorrow. Your inner circles not only provide you with great memories and laughs to look back on, but they also reflect what you value and influence your overall well-being.
Want to become more spiritually mature? Find friends or mentors that offer sound-wisdom to help you in your walk with Jesus.
Want to become more successful in your relationships? Find friends that are successful in building compassion, accountability, and moral support in their relationships.
Have you heard of the old saying, “It’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey”? The journey of walking with Christ is more than honing your spiritual strengths and professional skills; it is also about the many encounters that have shaped your identity. On the same token, the part that you play in others’ lives is just as impactful as how you shape their identities. Essentially, it’s not about the things that you have accomplished so far, but the people that have led you there.
It is also wise to acknowledge that people are seasons too. Some are lucky to have friends that last a lifetime, yet other friends remain for a short while. As you grow more in your faith, God will allow others to help you mature in other areas where the friends in your past can’t. The reality behind spiritual maturity is to surrender. Surrendering the plans, people, and desires of your heart at the feet of Jesus is one of the most challenging things we can do especially when we do not want to let go of the things, and people we love.
Reflecting and constantly checking in on your inner circle of friends builds intentionality, and spiritual intimacy which in return builds the body of the church. Building healthy and accountable relationships build the path of righteousness and lifelong wisdom.
“A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”Proverbs 12:26
Here are a some tips on how to curate your inner circle:
- Reflect on the five people you spend time with on an average basis
- Are these five people within reach? Are they in close proximity? Are they a phone call away to hear you out in your thoughts?
- What are the common denominators that shape your relationships with your five friends?
- Do their values and goals match? Or, are they similar to yours?
- Last, pray and seek the Lord’s guidance on the community you need this season.
Having a large network of people expands your chances of gaining potential mentors, financial success, and an overall bright future. That’s all great of course! And having a carefully curated small group of people leads you to more opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. Do yourself a favor and scan who’s in your inner circle; you will never know where they may lead you next.